Early January

During the first week of the new year, with addled head and bloated with self indulgence, I made a start at dismantling Christmas.

There is a sense of liberation in jettisoning tree, cards, and decorations after all that clutter. The house feels quiet, calm and serene. No left over food is wasted. Soups, puddings, ice creams invented and frozen for a later date.

This is the time for lists and good intentions. It is an opportunity to get organised, get tidied up and finish off old creative projects and ideas in the warm. Today the relentless wind has returned. Not cold, but squally showers dash rain against the windows like handfuls of gravel. This rough weather blows my wits away so it is hard to settle to one job and results are often inconsequential.
Half started? Half finished? Unresolved…..

Despite all the evidence roaring round the house I feel short of fresh air. The garden is too rough to sample. Doors stick, joints ache, colours are dull and flat and my energy matches them.
My work table looks as though the wind has blown through the room. Scattered papers, materials, books…..
Days are short and grey, nights long and black.
The energy will come back and I will break through this torpor soon.

I make a coffee and sigh. In the meantime there is the indulgence of sitting comfortably in the warm and planning ahead.